The current mood of vampydew at


Me, myself and I

Species : Known but rare(?) – female
How long I’ve been breathing : about 27 years
Resides : somewhere in “middle earth” – PJ, Malaysia
Statistics : not so petite ..emm not so big, but not sooo bodylicous
Currently : working somewhere near my place as a “HELPER” well soon to BE changed..cooollllllllllll….
Premier Characteristic : My major trait is, UNPREDICTABLE…!! People say I’m funny and weird which put a question mark to my bf’s face. I’m stubborn according to him but forgiving and LOVING. A’hahh, I had my yearly appraisal from my boss recently, and he remarked my strength in COMMUNICATING.
I’m GEMINI, and I guess the following describes me perfectly:

Gemini is the third sign of the zodiac, representing quickness of thought. Geminis are good communicators. They are active and clever. Geminis are adaptable, versatile, communicative, witty, intellectual, and eloquent. Sometime they can be pessimistic which is caused by their dualistic nature. Geminis like being part of a group. They always follow the rules of the game. Understanding and tolerant, they can be helpful in any situation. They usually liven up any social gathering with their ideas and verbal facility. Gemini is ruled by Mercury. Geminis can adapt to any situation, however they still try to keep their independence. Geminis like to travel and socialize. Geminis are good lawyers, politicians and public speakers.
Gemini's are often described as childlike. It's true that they have an enthusiastic hunger for information and a bubbly style of expression but this shouldn't be mistaken for innocence or simplicity. More complex or thoughtful people would be hard to find. The twins are an apt symbol for this sign, for sometimes, it really does seem as if there are two separate personalities, battling it out inside their head! This explains the Geminians versatility - and also the Geminian fondness for asking questions and analysing events. They have awe-inspiring natural curiosity - and a positive, flexible, open minded approach to life.
** I knew it..I knew it…!! – Arwen
Status : Status Quo – SINGLE BUT TAKEN
Likes : Goshh, too many guys…Just to simplify – MONEY
Dislikes : Snobbish, arrogant, liar, Hot weather, being cheated, my nose (hehhee), double-standard, back stabbing, my bad Hair Day which looks like to be EVERYDAY, my “ups and downs” weight.
I can’t stand PRETENTIOUS people who just want to feel good bout themselves. I don’t fancy when it comes to “Jilat ludah sendiri” especially when u want to win your EX back and u know that your ex is happily with their current girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband, which is totally “HELL, NO-NO” to me, honey.
I can’t live without : Money, my family, my boyfriend, my friends and myself
My wish : I just wanna be surrounded with the loved ones, they know who they are. Building dreams and growing old together with my baby.

and this is me....who is just being myself all the time...



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Fellowship of the Allies.....
** Clare **
** Ellene **

Welcome to the world of my obsessions...
„« American Idol
„« Bravenet
„« William Hung..Da Man
„« World Idol
„« Fear Factor
„« Tickle Emode
„« My Friendster
„« For Love or Money?
„« Da Quizz
„« My mood
„« My friends' Birthdays
„« Marc Anthony's rocks!
„« Bangmi's world

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Monday, March 29, 2004
Im moving out from here...........


I just need to write some few things here.....

1)  I have a new whoever wants to visit my new page, please contact me...Id be so honored to give you the link.

2)  I may not feel comfortable writing my stories, beliefs, hates, emotions, etc here any longer....coz I know there some people out there feel "threatened" with my writings which I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY....

3)  I wish this journal shall remains here forever until the time tells.....

4)  To whomever feels that I have intentionally or unintentionally - provoking or hurting their feelings, please accept my appology coz my intention is very clear, though we knew the fact that - SIAPA MAKAN CILI DIA TERASA PEDASNYA.

till then, may all the best to all of you.........

and to the "whoever" - KEEP ON DREAMING.........!!

Peace out!

Posted at 10:47 am by arwen
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Friday, March 26, 2004
Some updates

Apa khabar kawan2 saya agaknya..?Manalah mereka nih, nak kena call ke tidak, sebagaimana yang selalu dilakukan...


Saya baru kembali daripada bercuti, bukanlah cuti sebenarnya tapi I was on MC for the past few days.  I was given 2 days MC, tapi tadelah pulak saya berehat dan merehatkan buah pinggang saya yang nak hampir ko ini (minta simpanglah…).  Hari pertama MC, saya datang ke office juga, konon2nya nak menunjukkan keazaman saya pada boss, tapi sampai di office duduk melepek dan membazir masa.  Sebenarnya saya tak mahu menimbulkan sifat ingin tau HR office nih, disbbkan MC saya itu.  Petangnya, bersama dengan si Bobo dan West Port, kami ke Ikea, the first time for West and me.  Heeehee, kg jugaklah sampai2 di sana.  Nasib baiklah saya pergi dengan kawan2 lelaki, adalah juga orang nak meringankan tangan saya untuk bershopping dan tukang mengangkat barang.  Mereka berdua kawan lelaki yang baik.  Susah nak jumpa kawan seperti mereka.  Bmi tak pernah bertanya kalau saya keluar dengan mamat berdua.  Bmi percayakan mereka. 


Semalam pula hajat di hati nak balik ke kg tengok mak, rindu sungguh pada mak.  Saya tahu mak memang berkecil hati dengan saya sebab saya lah seorang anaknya yang jarang menjenguk muka.  Tapi dia tau, itu adalah perangai saya sejak belajar di kolej dulu.  Tapi demi Allah, saya rindukan emak dan cadang2nya subuh pagi saya akan bertolak balik sementara ada MC nih.  Tapi apakan daya, saya mempunyai kesukaran tahap maksima untuk bangun pagi kalau waktu cuti.  Sudahnya, saya bangun pagi pukul 10 pagi, itupun Bmi telefon minta tolong belikan lampin untuk Toknya dan menolong maknya di Klang buat kuih frozennya yg tak siap2 itu.  Kadang2 saya terfikir juga, ni siapa cucu Tok skrg nih, saya atau BMi..heh..tapi saya ikhlas bantu mereka sekeluarga, yelah nak harapkan siapa pun.  Semuanya dah bekerja dan Izyan pula masih belajar. 


Banyak juga kerja semalam di rumah Bmi.  Mula2 jadi delivery gal pegi hantar kuih di kelana jaya dan lampin tok Bmi.  Baliknya, saya dan Izyan singgah beli lunch, kesian org tua Bmi, pukul 5 baru nak makan tengahari.  Habis2 je makan, saya menolong Izyan mengecat biliknya.  Sampai ke malam lah kami mengerjakan biliknya.  Bmi balikpun dah hampir pukul 9 malam.  Saya tahu dia berterima kasih dengan saya kerana bersusah payah menolong orang tuanya, tapi dia tidak menyuarakannya.  Kadang2 dia nih kena di brain wash sket, ego dia kadang2 melangit tingginya. Dah puas saya jolok, tapi masalahnya galah saya panjangnya sejengkal…

Speaking about EGO, here are some of the finding when I went tru on the net :




ego - an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others

self-importance, egotism

pride, pridefulness - a feeling of self-respect and personal worth




ego - your consciousness of your own identity


consciousness - an alert cognitive state in which you are aware of yourself and your situation; "he lost consciousness"

anima - (Jungian psychology) the inner self (not the external persona) that is in touch with the unconscious




ego - (psychoanalysis) the conscious mind

depth psychology, psychoanalysis, analysis - a set of techniques for exploring underlying motives and a method of treating various mental disorders; based on the theories of Sigmund Freud; "his physician recommended psychoanalysis"

mind, psyche, nous, brain, head - that which is responsible for one's thoughts and feelings; the seat of the faculty of reason; "his mind wandered"; "I couldn't get his words out of my head"


Most of the time, I would be questioning the relativeness of this so called pride metaphor to human's behaviour and as the basic ground to my judgement, I always agree that its a part of our needs to keep on surviving and being accepted in our own community.  But the question is, do we really-really need to stand on to our ego in some occasions which then will result the other party feels hurt, rejected and demoralized...Well, I don't think so.  Being living in this world, I have came across some interesting people around me who made the world a whole lot difficult to others just because of their unaccepted condition of egoism.

I may not be a perfect person to talk bout this matter and yet to rise it for an open discussion.  But I believe in something, its quite a noble act if you can lower down your degree of ego for keeping others to be comfortable with you. 

I dont you tell me!

Posted at 12:45 pm by arwen
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Nothing much

Hari ini saya kembali ke office...pagi tadi bercinta di atas tilam, nak pegi ke atau ambil MC?? Namun semangat saya kuat betul, cuma ambil masa 15 minit nak bersiap2 dan sampai di office lebih kurang 8:15. Semangat saya sudah kurang bekerja di sini. Janji2 yang dijanjikan, tak dapat dilaksanakan oleh boss saya. Saya tk pernah marah atau menyalahkan dirinya, cuma saya terkilan, mengapa ada manusia yang berhasad dengki di dalam office ini...??? Apa lagi, saya terpaksalah update resume saya, cari kerja baru di tempat baru, lagi senang. Saya dah mulakan pencarian kerja baru sejak 2 minggu lepas, tapi taklah sungguh2. The only reason is I havent update my resume....Entah bila nak siap entah...heh! Sebetulnya saya sayang sungguh nak tinggalkan company ini...banyak kenangan berlaku. Bak kata orang, company ini telah menyaksikan saat2 kematangan saya, heh..!Banyak yang telah berlaku, suka dan duka! Tapi sampai bila nak "berumahtangga" di sini. Sayapun ada matlamat hidup saya. Tak selamanya saya di sini.. entahlah.... 4 hari bercuti, macam tak sepenuhnya bercuti. Bangmi walaupun bercuti tapi masih lagi macam bekerja. Saya rimas dengan telefon nya yang asik berbunyi. Kekadang saya kasihankan dia, kerja penat2 tapi hasilnya sungguh menyedihkan. Dia berkongsi rasa sedihnya bila melihat commission nya tak seberapa. Diapun seperti saya...tak tahan dengan kerenah dan politik di dalam office. Menghirup udara segar kampung, memang menjadi harapan saya sejak akhir2 ini. Saya bosan nak melihat dunia di sini...banyak yang menyakitkan hati. sebenarnya saya bercuti bersama bangmi sambil nak ambil kereta barunya drpd parents nya. Bangmi asik tersengih, pagi2 buta, dia tak mandi, dimandikan dulu keretanya. Nampaknya saya dah turun tahta.hehheee...saya tumpang gembira, at least theres something made him smile lately....Dia bangga, itulah kereta pertamanya di Malaysia ini...Jadi mulai hari ini, saya tidak patah kaki lagi....kereta putih kesayangan saya sudah berada disisi saya.... kereta putih yg tak berapa nak putih!

Posted at 03:34 pm by arwen
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